Chicks n’ Bears: There is NO downside.

MCROCKLIN STILL ROCKLIN

This video shows an 11-year-old axeman, Thomas McRocklin (his real name) owning a pub in Donnington. So just like Woodward and Burnstein spending two years exposing the Watergate scandal, I spent twenty minutes at lunch Googling McRocklin to find out what happened. After appearing on a BBC documentary, McRocklin was spotted by ethereal guitar virtuoso and probable sexual deviant, Steve Vai. He took McRocklin’s fledgling fingers and put them to work in Vai’s metal child labour factory. The result? Bad4Good. Under Vai's guidance, the band released one album in 1992 called Refugee, which featured the hit song nineteen, which was about being nineteen.

Despite critical praise, the album was a commercial flop, and the band disbanded shortly after. McRocklin now lives in Newcastle and works in a music shop. Sucker. Here is his MySpace page.

RUGBY: THE MOVIE

Kill me now. Some guy with a jawbone or something and a 'prison rugby team' battle against the indigenous Maoris of America. Honestly, this shit writes itself. Also, the fat gay hobbit is the coach because he motivated Frodo up that mountain.

N.B One thing that always bothered me about Lord Of The Rings. If they could get picked up off the mountain by the eagles, why didn't they just fly over and drop the damn ring in the fire in the first place. Thats bad management on Magneto's part.

Scientists discover first dinosaur stag-do.

August 3, 2008
WARSAW (Reuters) - Palaeontologists digging in a brickyard in southern Poland have discovered the fossilised remains of a dinosaur that they say is a previously unknown ancestor of the Tyrannosaurus Rex. The predator dinosaur, given the working name "Dragon", lived around 200 million years ago, team member Dr Tomasz Sulej of the Polish Science Academy told Reuters. It was 5 metres (yards) long and moved on two legs. Its longest teeth were 7 cm (2 inches) long. "This is a completely new type of dinosaur that was so far unknown," Sulej said on Friday. "Nobody even expected that members of this group lived in that time, so this gives us new knowledge about the whole evolution of the T-Rex group." The incomplete skeleton was excavated from a brickyard in Lisowice village, about 200 km (125 miles) from Warsaw. The palaeontologists will continue examining the bones and fully document the discovery before they decide what scientific name to give to the new dinosaur. They will exhibit the findings in Lisowice on August 7, Sulej said. At the same site the group also found a dicynodon -- a reptile that was a direct predecessor of mammals. "We are almost certain that "Dragon" hunted animals like this herbivorous dicynodon, which looked like a hippopotamus but was much bigger," Sulej said.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/odd/4848332/ancestor-trex-dinosaur-unearthed-poland
Dinosaurs are KING!

CAT WOE.

"So that was it really. She said 'I'm sick of it, you're out every night drinking with your mates leaving me at home. Well I've had enough, we're not at university anymore, we've got responsibilities.' And she's taken the kids and moved in with her sister. She won't even answer my phone calls..."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do mate...I've really fucked up this time. I love her so much..."

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Everyone keeps getting their head cut off. Just look at my time line of decapitation if you don't believe me...

ROLLERSMASH!
June 28, 2008
ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- A teenager Saturday was struck and killed by a roller coaster at the Six Flags Over Georgia theme park outside Atlanta, authorities said. The 17-year-old park visitor was killed after scaling two fences -- one of which was six feet tall -- around the Batman roller coaster, park spokeswoman Hela Sheth said in a statement. The teen, who visiting the park with a church group from Springfield, South Carolina, was decapitated, she said. It was unclear how fast the outside-looping coaster was moving when it struck the teen, but according to the park's Web site, the ride reaches speeds of 50 mph.

STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS DEATH!
Monday, 14 July 2008
A man who was found with his head severed by a chainsaw was fighting to stay in a block of 70 flats in Hampshire cleared for redevelopment. David Phyall, 50, was the last tenant at the Atlantic Housing Ltd housing association flats in Eastleigh. His body was found by police on 5 July, who said his death was not suspicious. Post-mortem tests showed he died of a "complete transection of the neck".
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/7505443.stm

GIRLMURDER!
Friday, 1 August 2008
A jealous girlfriend has been jailed for life for murdering a young Chinese graduate whose headless body was found floating in a marina in south London. Xing Xing Xie, 23, was decapitated while alive and her body dumped in the River Thames at Rotherhithe. Noor Azura Mohd-Yusoff, of Ealing, west London and her boyfriend Trach Lon Gian, of Deptford, south London, were convicted of murder at the Old Bailey. Another man wanted over the murder in April 2007 has fled the country.
Modh-Yusoff, a 22-year-old Malaysian prostitute, was sentenced to serve a minimum of 15 years while Gian, her 27-year-old Belfast-born boyfriend, must serve at least 22 years.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7538278.stm

MONEYDEATH!
2nd August 2008
A wealthy businessman killed himself with a chainsaw while on holiday with his wife and children after being overwhelmed by a series of illnesses in the family. Roger Kirman, who was a marketing executive for toiletries and food multinational Unilever, was found lying on the bathroom floor in their isolated converted barn in the Lake District. The 45-year-old, a fitness fanatic who took part in triathlons, is thought to have been on an Easter break with his wife Penelope and their three young children when his body was discovered. Mr Kirman left a note to his family apologising for what he had done, and an inquest ruled that he had committed suicide while suffering from intense stress.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1040645/Depressed-Unilever-director-tried-cut-head-chainsaw.html

MAPLE SYRUP DEATH!
August 3, 2008
Officers were responding to a desolate stretch of the TransCanada Highway about 12 miles from Portage La Prairie, Manitoba, after the bloody attack late Wednesday on the bus traveling from Edmonton, Alberta, to Winnipeg, Manitoba. Vince Weiguang Li, 40, faces second-degree murder charges for the slaying of a 22-year-old man, whom friends and family identified as Tim McLean. Police have not confirmed the victim's identity. Passengers said they had just reboarded the bus after a break when the suspect -- for no apparent reason -- stabbed the man sitting next to him dozens of times as passengers fled in horror. He then severed the man's head, displayed it and began hacking at the body.
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/02/canada.bus.stabbing.ap/index.html

So what's the connection? My first guess would be something to do with China, but upon closer inspection of the evidence I can reveal that's not true. What do you think Mike Portnoy from Dream Theatre?

Thanks Mike...

IT'S THE WEEKEND, SO...

Let's get on the CRAZY TRAIN with 8 year old Japanese guitar phenom Yuto Miyazawa.