I said do something cat...

YEY! LONG WEEKEND

Two of the saddest stories in the world

Aussies slot an orphan whale...

A baby whale abandoned by its mother in the waters off north Sydney has been put down, after veterinarians decided it could not survive on its own. The humpback whale calf had been trying to suckle from boats, which it apparently mistook for his parent. The plight of the starving two-tonne animal, dubbed Colin, has captivated Australia since last weekend. The whale was first given a sedative, then a lethal dose of anaesthetic, which took 10 minutes. The calf had suffered shark bites and was having trouble breathing "It's a tragic end to a programme that dozens of people have put their hearts and souls into," National Parks and Wildlife Service official John Dengate told Australian radio. A vet report and blood tests on Thursday had revealed the calf, believed to be only two to three weeks old, was suffering from shark bite wounds and breathing difficulties.

But this is probably the winner by a tear...
One of three children who survived the Madrid air crash thought he was in the middle of a film and asked his rescuer when it was going to end. Stories of heroics and heartbreaking moments are emerging from rescue workers Firefighter Francisco Martinez, who was one of the first on the scene, said the young boy asked: "When will this film end? Where is my Dad?" The youngster made the comments as he was pulled from the wreckage of the Spanair MD-82 jet which crashed moments after taking off, claiming 153 lives - more than likely including his parents. Mr Martinez also told how he found passenger Amalia Filloy alive at the crash scene but she insisted he rescued her 11-year-old daughter, Maria, first. He did so but when he returned Mrs Filloy had died.

Oh man, "Where is my Dad?" There truly is no God. But there are good people, have a drink for Amalia Filloy.

No Easy Road to Freedom speech by Nelson Mandela

"You can see that there is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow (of death) again and again before we reach the mountain tops of our desires. Dangers and difficulties have not deterred us in the past, they will not frighten us now. But we must be prepared for them like men in business who do not waste energy in vain talk and idle action. The way of preparation (for action) lies in our rooting out all impurity and indiscipline from our organisation and making it the bright and shining instrument that will cleave its way to freedom."
Nelson Mandela

Dubai: OUT OF CONTROL.

IT'S THE WEEKEND...

P.A.R.T-WHY? Because I don't think I'll survive another night alone!

Alexander Solzhenitsyn, incredible Russian author and dissident, died on August 3rd, aged 89

Here is The Economists obituary.

'PEOPLE knew it was there: the vast amazing country of Gulag which, “though scattered in an Archipelago geographically, was, in the psychological sense, fused into a continent—an almost invisible, almost imperceptible country.” Trains went in, and people were sent to administer it from the Ministry of Internal Affairs. But until Alexander Solzhenitsyn had spent eight years there, laying bricks and smelting metal in the intensest heat and cold, hearing fellow-inmates, like rats, stealing his food in the dark, wearing wrist-crushing handcuffs for the least infraction, this land was not fully revealed to the outside world. “The Gulag Archipelago” was a book carried out of the camps “on the skin of my back”, to bear witness on behalf of everyone still inside.

Its appearance, in 1973, immediately led to his expulsion from the Soviet Union. But his work was done. He had exposed the fissures in the system, a truth-telling that had begun, 11 years earlier during the Khrushchev thaw, with the publication in Novy Mir of “One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich”. That tale began with the cacophony of reveille for the prisoners, “sounded by the blows of a hammer on a length of rail” through windows coated in frost two fingers thick. With that banging, even through their imperviousness, the Russian people began to stir to the evils of the cult of personality under which they had lived for too long; after this, though with desperate slowness, the disintegration of the Soviet state was only a matter of time.


He was not another Tolstoy or Dostoevsky. Often the characters in Mr Solzhenitsyn’s books were one-dimensional, the tone sardonic, the detail turgid. But his indestructibility gave him, over the years, a prophet’s voice. He survived the war, the camps and abdominal cancer that was carelessly treated. He was told he would never have children, but had three sons. He believed he would never return to Russia after his exile, but in 1994 was welcomed back to the post-Soviet state. Each miracle increased his sense of mission. He was not simply a writer, but a visionary who would mend Russia; and, as such, he believed he was on equal terms with Soviet leaders. In 1973, in a letter to them, he laid out his proposals. There was nothing wrong with a Soviet empire; but they had to cast off “this filthy sweaty shirt” of Marxist ideology, all these “arsenals of lies”. Socialism, he wrote, “prevents the living body of the nation from breathing.”

Behind his impassive kulak’s face lay intense self-scrutiny, adamantine moral and physical courage and a sometimes unsettling disregard for the smaller and softer things in life. But he did not necessarily think he was better, or wiser, than other men. Only a fluke, he said, had kept him out of the NKVD, Stalin’s secret police, when they came recruiting at his university. As for the war, though the Nazis had unleashed atrocities on Russia, “I remember myself in my captain’s shoulder-straps and the forward march of my battery through East Prussia, enshrouded in fire, and I say: ‘So were we any better?’” In one poem, “Prussian Nights”, he wrote:

The little daughter’s on the mattress,
Dead. How many have been on it
A platoon, a company perhaps?
A girl’s been turned into a woman,
A woman turned into a corpse
Salvo after salvo rattled from the Solzhenitsyn typewriter, always interleaved with carbon copies for fear that the secret police would seize the manuscript. Some fell on deaf ears—wilfully deaf, in the case of the European left. The notion that Stalin was a great wartime leader, for example, should never have survived the devastating portrait of sickly paranoia in “The First Circle” (1969). Yet it has persisted to this day.

Though supporters in the West lumped Mr Solzhenitsyn with the rest of the intelligentsia, he stood monumentally alone. A friendship with an Estonian prisoner, Arnold Susi, had exploded his lingering belief in Marxism; but he detested the self-regarding and snooty Russian intellectuals, the “well-read ones”, as he referred to them. Unlike Andrei Sakharov, he had no belief in liberalism or human-rights campaigns. The fact that scientists might be deprived of visas left him unmoved. He cared about the fate of peasants and the general citizenry, Russians in the mass. Ivan Denisovich was not an intellectual: he was a peasant who was horrified to discover, in a letter from his wife, that the farmers in his village were now working in factories rather than haymaking. The creation of Soviet man was the horror Mr Solzhenitsyn chiefly wished to reverse.

Neither East nor West
Yet he had little time for the West either. Bundled on to a plane to West Germany in 1974, he turned his fire on other targets, thundering against materialism, shallowness and the silliness of popular Western culture. He would be no cold-war figurehead against the Kremlin and all its works; he was, to the core, a Russian nationalist. As communism fell he came to loathe Boris Yeltsin, Russia’s leader, seeing him as the author of chaos and humiliation. But bitterness and envy may have played a part, too. Bitterness because his hero’s welcome had turned into indifference to this dishevelled, hectoring, old-fashioned figure. And envy because Yeltsin stood in the place he should, he believed, have occupied himself.'

But to my mind, nobody could express my feeling better than Warrant
Heaven isn't too far away A-Sol, heaven isn't too far away...

Bear serves camera trap hard

This story features three of my favorite things. Bears, animals doing stuff and animals taking revenge on infidel humans. One for your dead Homies bear, one for your Homies...

"Under my Umber-ella-ella-ella. Woah! WTF was that? Was that lighting? I can''t hear thunder. What's up with that. Hey...is that a camera?"

"That IS a camera..."

"I'll just take a closer look here. Hmmm"

"BOOM. That's for Diana motherfuckers. She was the Queen of ALL our hearts."

Fuck you say?

Canadian beheading gets nastier/ ghostlier

More news on the guy who hacked another guys head of and ate some of his flesh for no apparent reason. Turns out he was possessed, which makes it okay. Edmonton ethno-historian Nathan Carlson is one of the world's leading experts on Windigo phenomenon, and the recent horrific beheading and alleged cannibalism on a Greyhound bus bound for Winnipeg from Edmonton rocked him to his very core. As the grisly details of Tim McLean's last moments on Earth came to light in the following days, Carlson sank deeper and deeper into a fog of horror and revulsion. Vince Weiguang Li is accused of abruptly attacking McLean, who by all accounts he didn't even know -- while McLean slept on the bus. Up until a few days before the killing, Li held a part- time job delivering newspapers in Edmonton. He was well thought-of by his boss and considered a nice guy, if a bit quiet and shy. On July 20 - just 10 days before the killing - Li delivered copies of the Sun that contained an extensive interview with Carlson about his research into the Windigo, a terrifying creature in native mythology that has a ravenous appetite for human flesh. It could take possession of people and turn them into cannibalistic monsters. Yo, what's up with that?

I don't like football, but...

This is some sweet Muay Thai shit.

IT'S THE WEEKEND, SO...

Put A Donk On it!

Chicks n’ Bears: There is NO downside.

MCROCKLIN STILL ROCKLIN

This video shows an 11-year-old axeman, Thomas McRocklin (his real name) owning a pub in Donnington. So just like Woodward and Burnstein spending two years exposing the Watergate scandal, I spent twenty minutes at lunch Googling McRocklin to find out what happened. After appearing on a BBC documentary, McRocklin was spotted by ethereal guitar virtuoso and probable sexual deviant, Steve Vai. He took McRocklin’s fledgling fingers and put them to work in Vai’s metal child labour factory. The result? Bad4Good. Under Vai's guidance, the band released one album in 1992 called Refugee, which featured the hit song nineteen, which was about being nineteen.

Despite critical praise, the album was a commercial flop, and the band disbanded shortly after. McRocklin now lives in Newcastle and works in a music shop. Sucker. Here is his MySpace page.

RUGBY: THE MOVIE

Kill me now. Some guy with a jawbone or something and a 'prison rugby team' battle against the indigenous Maoris of America. Honestly, this shit writes itself. Also, the fat gay hobbit is the coach because he motivated Frodo up that mountain.

N.B One thing that always bothered me about Lord Of The Rings. If they could get picked up off the mountain by the eagles, why didn't they just fly over and drop the damn ring in the fire in the first place. Thats bad management on Magneto's part.

Scientists discover first dinosaur stag-do.

August 3, 2008
WARSAW (Reuters) - Palaeontologists digging in a brickyard in southern Poland have discovered the fossilised remains of a dinosaur that they say is a previously unknown ancestor of the Tyrannosaurus Rex. The predator dinosaur, given the working name "Dragon", lived around 200 million years ago, team member Dr Tomasz Sulej of the Polish Science Academy told Reuters. It was 5 metres (yards) long and moved on two legs. Its longest teeth were 7 cm (2 inches) long. "This is a completely new type of dinosaur that was so far unknown," Sulej said on Friday. "Nobody even expected that members of this group lived in that time, so this gives us new knowledge about the whole evolution of the T-Rex group." The incomplete skeleton was excavated from a brickyard in Lisowice village, about 200 km (125 miles) from Warsaw. The palaeontologists will continue examining the bones and fully document the discovery before they decide what scientific name to give to the new dinosaur. They will exhibit the findings in Lisowice on August 7, Sulej said. At the same site the group also found a dicynodon -- a reptile that was a direct predecessor of mammals. "We are almost certain that "Dragon" hunted animals like this herbivorous dicynodon, which looked like a hippopotamus but was much bigger," Sulej said.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/odd/4848332/ancestor-trex-dinosaur-unearthed-poland
Dinosaurs are KING!

CAT WOE.

"So that was it really. She said 'I'm sick of it, you're out every night drinking with your mates leaving me at home. Well I've had enough, we're not at university anymore, we've got responsibilities.' And she's taken the kids and moved in with her sister. She won't even answer my phone calls..."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do mate...I've really fucked up this time. I love her so much..."

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Everyone keeps getting their head cut off. Just look at my time line of decapitation if you don't believe me...

ROLLERSMASH!
June 28, 2008
ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- A teenager Saturday was struck and killed by a roller coaster at the Six Flags Over Georgia theme park outside Atlanta, authorities said. The 17-year-old park visitor was killed after scaling two fences -- one of which was six feet tall -- around the Batman roller coaster, park spokeswoman Hela Sheth said in a statement. The teen, who visiting the park with a church group from Springfield, South Carolina, was decapitated, she said. It was unclear how fast the outside-looping coaster was moving when it struck the teen, but according to the park's Web site, the ride reaches speeds of 50 mph.

STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS DEATH!
Monday, 14 July 2008
A man who was found with his head severed by a chainsaw was fighting to stay in a block of 70 flats in Hampshire cleared for redevelopment. David Phyall, 50, was the last tenant at the Atlantic Housing Ltd housing association flats in Eastleigh. His body was found by police on 5 July, who said his death was not suspicious. Post-mortem tests showed he died of a "complete transection of the neck".
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/7505443.stm

GIRLMURDER!
Friday, 1 August 2008
A jealous girlfriend has been jailed for life for murdering a young Chinese graduate whose headless body was found floating in a marina in south London. Xing Xing Xie, 23, was decapitated while alive and her body dumped in the River Thames at Rotherhithe. Noor Azura Mohd-Yusoff, of Ealing, west London and her boyfriend Trach Lon Gian, of Deptford, south London, were convicted of murder at the Old Bailey. Another man wanted over the murder in April 2007 has fled the country.
Modh-Yusoff, a 22-year-old Malaysian prostitute, was sentenced to serve a minimum of 15 years while Gian, her 27-year-old Belfast-born boyfriend, must serve at least 22 years.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7538278.stm

MONEYDEATH!
2nd August 2008
A wealthy businessman killed himself with a chainsaw while on holiday with his wife and children after being overwhelmed by a series of illnesses in the family. Roger Kirman, who was a marketing executive for toiletries and food multinational Unilever, was found lying on the bathroom floor in their isolated converted barn in the Lake District. The 45-year-old, a fitness fanatic who took part in triathlons, is thought to have been on an Easter break with his wife Penelope and their three young children when his body was discovered. Mr Kirman left a note to his family apologising for what he had done, and an inquest ruled that he had committed suicide while suffering from intense stress.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1040645/Depressed-Unilever-director-tried-cut-head-chainsaw.html

MAPLE SYRUP DEATH!
August 3, 2008
Officers were responding to a desolate stretch of the TransCanada Highway about 12 miles from Portage La Prairie, Manitoba, after the bloody attack late Wednesday on the bus traveling from Edmonton, Alberta, to Winnipeg, Manitoba. Vince Weiguang Li, 40, faces second-degree murder charges for the slaying of a 22-year-old man, whom friends and family identified as Tim McLean. Police have not confirmed the victim's identity. Passengers said they had just reboarded the bus after a break when the suspect -- for no apparent reason -- stabbed the man sitting next to him dozens of times as passengers fled in horror. He then severed the man's head, displayed it and began hacking at the body.
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/02/canada.bus.stabbing.ap/index.html

So what's the connection? My first guess would be something to do with China, but upon closer inspection of the evidence I can reveal that's not true. What do you think Mike Portnoy from Dream Theatre?

Thanks Mike...

IT'S THE WEEKEND, SO...

Let's get on the CRAZY TRAIN with 8 year old Japanese guitar phenom Yuto Miyazawa.